There She Is
My hair wasn't just driving me nuts, it was bothering me. I assumed a cut was inevitable but I ended up bleaching it back to blonde. It was a process, a nine day process but I wasn’t going anywhere and I was more than up for the challenge.
I spent those nine days transforming my hair getting it caught up to where I was. Once it was blonde—I wanted it off. I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do, didn’t really think about it. It wanted off.
My hair, my heart-hair has been through it all seen it all. But my hair journey wasn’t really about hair at all.
It was about marking the end of a chapter.
Most people change their hair because they’re bored, want a new look, or feel like switching things up. Not this time.
My hair journey was more ceremonial than cosmetic.
Those 20 inches weren’t just brunette hair—they were grown during the most transformative time of my life.
Open-heart surgeries. PTSD. Recovery. The identity crisis. The spiritual awakening and the long road back to self.
It wasn’t hair that survived those three years—I did.
Most people assume going blonde is about appearance, but I spent nine days doing a major color correction and pulled it off flawlessly. That’s not vanity; that’s competence.
It’s proof that the woman who built her own website, wrote her own book, launched her own podcast, and survived two open-heart surgeries is still here, still standing, still building.
The brunette represented survival. Not in a bad way—just a season. The blonde feels like emergence. Not becoming someone new, but revealing who was underneath all along.
This is what healing can look like. We don’t always throw things away because they were bad. Sometimes we release them because they belonged to a version of us that has completed its purpose.
It’s not “Jaye went blonde.” More like: “Jaye finally looked in the mirror and recognized herself again.”
Funny how it’s very similar to the hair on the homepage of this site, eh?
Even though it turned out great, it had to go. I feel brighter, more vibrant, and more like me. I think this blonde journey was more about acknowledging my capabilities and less about glam.
Speaking of glam, the podcast is out—and it is anything but glam—and the introduction episode is up.
Where? You know where—I told you in the last post.
—Jaye
